~Jilstr

Im laying on my un-made bed, with a gigantic ball of snot rags on one side and a pile of uneaten food on the other (in plates, of course.) I have been sick for going on three weeks now. I wake up dying from coughing, because my nose is continuiously leaking in my sleep and going into my lungs and I wake up with Crusty Lung. At first it started with Aches and Pains, Fever, Sore Throat, Hot and Cold Flashes, EVERYTHING except Vomiting.

Then I went to Boston. When Im sick I tend to say "Fuck You" to my body and continue doing whatever Im doing regardless of how sick I may be feeling. I dope myself up with a ton of painkillers and cough syrup if I have to, and Im good for a few hours. So, I went to Boston and there my fever peaked. I wondered around The Pit and The City with my friend Lianna, completely and totally out of it.
After coming home, I developed a stomache bug. My Immunity to Shitty-Other-Viruses-I-Could-Pick-Up-Along-The-Way was very low, so I delt with that. Then the Cough/Stuffy Nose didnt go away, and still hasnt.

On Friday night, everything peaked. My Mom had bought me a giant bottle of Robotussen, and instructed me to have some every four hours. So thats what I did, for 48 hours previous to Friday Night. Every four hours, WHOOP! Down goes a swig of Robotussen. Odd things started happening to my mental processes, that I didnt really notice or take seriously but my Boyfriend noticed.
A slowness in the uptake; slower than usual. Disorientation. I'd be completely sober, and feel very ....On Drugs. And not even REALIZE I felt like I was On Drugs. Just that I felt a little funny.

For instance, there was this one Moment where I was talking to Matt as we left a Pizza Shop. We parked on the other side of the building, so we had to walk around it on a sidewalk to get to his car. As we walked along the sidewalk, I stopped randomly; right in front of this Silver Car. Matt continued talking to me, and I anwsered normally. Zoned out. Staring at the car. Suddenly he said "Lets go! Come On!" And I said "OK" and started trying to open the door to the Silver Car in front of me. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Matt yelled.
I stopped, Looked around (rather frightened) realized what I was doing, and ran. I could not explain myself. Not even to myself. I honestly had no memory of what I was doing. I remember the story because Matt told me, and I remember 'Coming To' infront of the Silver Car and being very confused because it wasnt Matt's car and I thought it was.

ANYWAY. I had been on the Robotussen for 48 hours at this point, and on Friday Night, while at work, I took another dose. My coughing had reached epic levels of uncontrolable-ness and it was very neccicary to medicate as much as possible. Half an hour later, the room suddenly SHIFTED. Everything...shifted (the best word I can think of to explain the sensation) and had a very bizzare feeling to it. I had started tripping. My cohearancy was very low. I was tripping at work accidently, and very misrable over it. What the HELL?
Then I went to the bathroom, and discovered there was bright red blood all over my underwear. I had started bleeding and my period wasnt for an ENTIRE week. I have been on The Pill for 6 months at this point; break through bleeding shouldnt be happening. I started freaking out, imagining all the things it could mean. Possible miscarriage, pregnacy, too low a doseage of BC... So I was tripping AND freaking out over being pregnate. Freaking out to the point of, the last 15 minutes of work was spent hysterically sobbing out of veiw, praying no customers would come. My tummy cramped a lot, and the bleeding at first was heavy compared to a normally light, on-birth-control Period. Then it ebbed away and four days later, Im still spotting. Or is it three days. Really, I dont care enough to calculate. Im sick of worrying.

Saturday I was supposed to be going to a Rancid concert, but for some very depressing reason I didnt feel like going. It just seemed like a bad idea to me.
A) I was tired, very very tired. The night before had been so upsetting I continued to feel stressed the next day. And crampy. I was still having lingering worries over the whole pregnacy thingy, but I was sick of worrying so I didnt let it eat me.
B) I didnt think going into a public, germ-infested place was a great idea at this stage of my getting-better-ness. Every time I had gone into public in the last three weeks I had picked up something new. I was sick of being sick, so I didnt go.


Now, I am going to shower. I havent showered since Friday. Its Monday. I am going to do that now.